An Honest Word

I made it safely to Altea last night.  It was quite the adventurous journey with some close calls, but I am really thankful to be here.  This place is beautiful–really beautiful.  The sea is a beautiful blue and the temporary apartment we are in today is overlooking the water with a beautiful terrace.

Last night I got to meet our staff team over dinner.  They are all incredible and I am looking forward to the couple days we have together before the students come on Saturday.  Part of me is really excited to see what is ahead, but if I’m honest I’m not in the best of spirits today.  I am generally an extremely positive person and I am notorious for finding the good in any situation.  But today I’m feeling frustrated, sad, disappointed, and worried.  I’m at the point where my body is starting to hurt in new ways from the stress of my injury.  My right ankle, which I injured, has always been my good ankle, so now my left ankle is starting to hurt from all the strain on it.  On top of that my hands and arms are aching from my forearm crutches.  As we talk about our schedule in the days ahead, it’s sinking in how much I really won’t be able to do.  I love to walk and explore and for these first couple weeks I’m going to be restricted mostly to the house that I will be staying in, which is in the upper part of the city, away from the water.

I know that everything will be fine and I will make it through.  In time my ankle will heal and I will be able to join in with everything here in Altea.  It just sucks right now.  And in the midst of it all I’m realizing that it’s not very often that I’m in a state of helplessness or despair.  I don’t often stop to mourn and admit sadness, but I’m facing it head on right now.  As I read this post back I immediately start judging myself and think “come on, get it together.  Trust God.”  I also get worried of what others might think about my outlook and assume “Gosh, she doesn’t have much faith. Doesn’t she know God works everything together for good? She’s such a downer.”  But I know that if I am to share my joy and triumphs, then I also must share the discouragement along the way.

Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words.  I mean it when I say that they are both welcome and needed right now.  Love to you all!